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advice
My sister Leslie has three children – Alyssa, Haylei and Thomas – and in my heart, mind and soul, I love them as though they are my very own.

These precious children are all grown now.

 

Tom is in the Army and is stationed in Alaska.

 

advice

 

Haylei graduated and received her Bachelors degree this past May (2014). At the moment, she works full-time for a pharmacy as a Wellness Ambassador, but she’s hoping to join the police force at some point in the near future. She majored in Criminal Justice and has passed (with flying colors) all the required State and County Civil Service exams. She’s just waiting on a call to come in that will set the career of her dreams in motion.

 

advice

 

And Alyssa has a Masters degree. She teaches Spanish at a university in Arkansas and is married … and pregnant.:) She and her husband are anxiously anticipating the arrival of their first child (a girl) in January (just a few short months away.)

 

advice

All through the young lives of these children, I had the privilege of playing an active role in their upbringing. I was Leslie’s birthing coach when Alyssa was born. When Leslie brought Alyssa home from the hospital, it was to the apartment that Leslie and I shared. For the first three years of Alyssa’s life, it was just Leslie and I raising her. I was there when Alyssa smiled for the first time … when she said her first word … when she took her first step. I was there rocking her in a chair to sleep at night … telling her bedtime stories …. watching her grow. To me, Alyssa was so much more than a niece. I loved her like a mother loves a child. I still do and always will.

When Alyssa was three, Leslie married. Two years later, Haylei was born, and the following year Tom arrived. What a blessing these children were – to everyone in our family. We all shared in the joy they brought – their Dad, their Mom, their grandparents, their other beloved aunt (Pam), and me (who they’ve always called Auntie M or Nem).

I cannot imagine my life – what it would have been like the past 27 years …. all that it would have lacked …. all the joy that would have been missed out on had these children not been part of my life. To say they’re a blessing is really an understatement. They are so much more to me. I was never able or blessed enough to have children of my own. Alyssa, Haylei and Tom more than aptly filled the void. They are indeed the very heart of me.

Like a mom, there was nothing I wouldn’t have done for my sister’s children. Their health, happiness, safety and peace of mind was always foremost on my mind. I felt fiercely protective of my nieces and nephew. I wanted to shelter them from anything that might ever harm them. They were so extremely precious that I wanted them always to be safe. I couldn’t bear the thought of them suffering harm in any way.

While the kids were growing up, I decided that the best way that I could possibly help prepare and arm them to face the world, was by giving them words of advice. My sister never stopped me from doing it. Leslie has always known me well – she knows my heart better than anyone else on this planet and she knew that I loved her children with all that was in me. She knew that I had their best interest at heart – so she let me freely talk to her children. And talk I did. And they would listen. They loved and trusted and respected me. I could see it in their loving eyes whenever they’d look at me … and that only made me want to shelter and protect them more.

I handed out advice to poor Alyssa, Haylei and Tom all the time. I couldn’t help or stop myself. My desire to keep them from harm and/or help them make good decisions was so fervent. We’d watch a TV show or a movie together and I’d say, “See? See why you shouldn’t talk to strangers?” “See why she should have listened to her parents?” “See why it’s so important to stay in school and do well?” “See why it’s so wrong to lie?” And I’d go on from there – extolling advice. I used every opportunity that presented itself. I confess. I probably over-advised them.

At some point in their young lives, my “advice” became somewhat of a family joke – but in a fun way rather than bad. The kids never showed me anything but patience and respect. They loved and understood my heart and intentions. They got me – in a way that perhaps only true family can. My advice started being referred to as “lectures” – the kids joked that I had one for every subject imaginable (which I did) and so my “advice” became a game that we’d all play. Alyssa, Haylei or Tom would give me a letter – such a ‘S’ and I would proceed to give a short “lecture” on Strangers. If they’d pick ‘K’,  I’d go on and on about Kindness. ‘C’ was for cheating, and ‘P’ … well ‘P’ was always about Perverts (I kid you not).:) We’d all laugh that I could come up with advice on any letter they chose … and I’d make my “lectures” as silly and entertaining and informative as possible. I’d extol my advice and they’d listen. They never argued with me. They never made fun of me or my need to “advise” them. They never looked bored. They always loved and kindly tolerated me. Oh, how I loved those children … and oh how they taught me daily the true meaning of love.

 

advice

 

And now Alyssa is about to give birth to a child of her own. A baby girl!:)She and her husband are planning to name their daughter Lily. We live hundreds of miles apart – which makes me sad – but as often as possible, I plan to see and spend time with Lily. I can’t wait to get to know her. And already our family is joking about the many “lectures” that I’ll probably share with her – just like I did with her mother … because they know that I’m going to love dear Lily as though she were my very own granddaughter. And I will. In fact, I already do – and she hasn’t even arrived yet.:)

So what advice will I share with dear Lily? I think I’ll do it by the number this time around instead of by each letter:)– and here’s what I’ve come up with so far:

 

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joke
Adam was walking around the Garden of Eden feeling very lonely, so God asked Adam, “What is wrong with you?”

Adam said, “Lord, I don’t have anyone to talk to.”

God said, “Then I will give you a companion, and she will be called a ‘woman’. This person will cook for you and wash your clothes, she will always agree with every decision you make. She will bear your children and never ask you to get up in the middle of the night to take care of them. She will not nag you, and will always be the first to admit she was wrong when you’ve had a disagreement. She will never have a headache, and will freely give love and compassion whenever needed. She will never question your behaviour or the company you keep. She will support you and understand that you have important decisions to make throughout your life and don’t have time for nonsense…”

Adam asked God, “What will this woman cost?”

God said, “An arm and a leg…”

Adam said, “What can I get for just a rib?”

 


 

Silly Sunday

 

Silly Sunday” is a fun blog hop hosted by Sandee at Comedy Plus each week and you can click the link to be transported there. Here is how it works:

  • Blog about something funny, silly or laughable – a joke, comic, funny story, etc.
  • To add your funny blog post in the hop, enter your name and your post’s URL in the Silly Sunday Linky that’s shown below.
  • To add the Linky to your joke post showing all the Silly Sunday joke entries for the week, visit Comedy Plus and grab the code that must be inserted in your text editor. You’ll find it at the top of Sandee’s blog under the heading: Silly Sunday Code. The code changes each week. Simply copy and paste the code for the current week in your text editor where you’d like the joke list linky to appear; hit publish and shaazam it appears.:)
  • Hop around (from blog to blog) and enjoy the jokes, etc. posted by other Silly Sunday participants and have a lot of fun and laughs today!
  • Oh yeah, and don’t forget to comment on the jokes that make you smile or tear up with laughter … because your comment will do the same for the blogger who included and posted the joke.:D

 

Here are the jokes included in this week’s Silly Sunday:

 

 

 

pet peeve
I think that Pet Peeve offenses should actually be considered acts of crime ! Don’t you?

Let’s think about this for a minute… When people do things in our presence (either intentionally or unintentionally) – things that irritate, aggravate, offend, disgust, or infuriate us, shouldn’t their actions be considered crimes? Shouldn’t the offenders be considered criminals? The perpetrator has wronged us in some way. They’ve disturbed us and they’re stealing our peace of mind. Their actions are so irritating that they sometimes threaten our sanity. Don’t they? Shouldn’t perpetrations of this sort be illegal? Shouldn’t the perpetrator of these injustices be held accountable for their actions … and even better – punished?

Okay, I know I’m stretching and exaggerating things a bit. I know that Pet Peeve offenses are not indeed crimes. I know that Pet Peeve annoyances are an individual thing. What bothers me, might not bother you in the least.

Still, I couldn’t help but think of the Pet Peeves that bother me personally … and wish ever so slightly that I could be a Cop for a day or two. Wouldn’t it be fun to be a Pet Peeve Cop?  :) I’d gladly put that uniform on and write out arrest warrants left and right to every Pet Peeve Perpetrator on the planet. And when they’d claim: “Hey! Committing a Pet Peeve offense isn’t a crime!” I’d point them to the Dictionary.com definition of crime (shown below). I’d cuff ‘em and say, “Read it and weep you Pet Peeve perpetrating pest! Read it and weep!”

 

pet peeve
 

 

Once arrested, the perpetrators would then be charged with a Felony. (Because they should be, right?) There would be three different class felonies:

 

Pet Peeve Perpetrating Felony Offenses

 

Class A Felony – This class felony is reserved for those who commit Abhorrent Pet Peeve crimes (rude and deliberate offenses that drive members of the public absolutely crazy – perhaps so much so that they experience a desirous urge to choke and/or pummel the perpetrator to near unconsciousness – if not beyond). If convicted of a Class A Felony, punishment will include a $1,000,000 fine and up to 20 years of banishment from earth to be served on a distant planet.

Class N Felony –  This class felony is reserved for those who commit Not-Too-Bright Pet Peeve crimes (offenses committed due the perpetrators lack of knowledge and/or their general lack of manners and/or sense of decency). If convicted of a Class N Felony, punishment will include a $500,000 fine and a mandatory 5 year enrollment in a supervised classroom setting where proper public Etiquette is taught … and said felon must graduate from this course of study with high honors and a diploma to prove it.

Class E Felony – This class felony is reserved for those who commit somewhat Excusable Pet Peeve crimes (offenses committed accidentally and unintentionally – the perpetrator is unaware that the offense will aggravate you – had he or she been aware of the fact, they might have refrained from performing the act as they are generally kind-hearted individuals who never wish to harm or aggravate other individuals. Perpetrators of Class E felonies commit offenses with absolutely no premeditation or malice of heart.) If convicted of a Class E Felony, punishment will include a $10 fine followed by a sincere apology to the victim of the perpetration.

 

Now that we have all of the Pet Peeve Offense legalities out of the way…

 

It has come to my attention (big time) that there are currently Pet Peeve Offenders on the loose in my very own neighborhood. They seem to be running rampant as of late – committing heinous acts of annoyance daily and all over the place against all mankind (well, okay maybe just against me). These criminals must be stopped. Only then will my neighborhood and yours be once again peaceful and serene. Can you help me find and apprehend these criminals? For your convenience, I’m posting this week’s Most Wanted list below.

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blondes
A blonde had just purchased a new sports car and was out for a drive when she cut off a truck driver. He motioned for her to pull over.

When she did, the truck driver got out of his truck and pulled a piece of chalk from his pocket. He drew a circle on the road and told the blonde, “Stand inside this circle and don’t move!”

The truck driver then went to the blonde’s car and cut up her leather seats. When he turned around he saw that the blonde had a slight grin on her face, so he said, “Oh, you think that’s funny? Watch this.”

The truck driver then got a baseball bat out of his truck and broke every window in the blonde’s car. When he finished, he turned again to look at the blonde. She had a smile on her face.

The truck driver was now really getting mad so he got his knife back out and sliced all of the car’s tires. Now the blonde was laughing.

The truck driver was really starting lose it at this point. He went back to his truck and got a can of gas, poured it on the blonde’s car and set it on fire.

Thinking that would show her how angry he was, the truck driver turned around once again to face the blonde … and saw that she was laughing so hard that she was about to fall down.

“What the *&%$ is so ^@#% funny?” the truck driver asked and demanded to know.

Between chortles of laughter the blonde replied, “When you weren’t looking I stepped outside the circle four times.”

 

 


 

Silly Sunday

 

Silly Sunday” is a fun blog hop hosted by Sandee at Comedy Plus each week and you can click the link to be transported there. Here is how it works:

  • Blog about something funny, silly or laughable – a joke, comic, funny story, etc.
  • To add your funny blog post in the hop, enter your name and your post’s URL in the Silly Sunday Linky that’s shown below.
  • To add the Linky to your joke post showing all the Silly Sunday joke entries for the week, visit Comedy Plus and grab the code that must be inserted in your text editor. You’ll find it at the top of Sandee’s blog under the heading: Silly Sunday Code. The code changes each week. Simply copy and paste the code for the current week in your text editor where you’d like the joke list linky to appear; hit publish and shaazam it appears.:)
  • Hop around (from blog to blog) and enjoy the jokes, etc. posted by other Silly Sunday participants and have a lot of fun and laughs today!
  • Oh yeah, and don’t forget to comment on the jokes that make you smile or tear up with laughter … because your comment will do the same for the blogger who included and posted the joke.:D

 

Here are the jokes included in this week’s Silly Sunday:

 


 

 

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