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beer

 

A man walks into a bar and sees a sign that says, “Free Beer For Life If You Can Pass Our Test!”

He asks the bartender, “What’s this ‘test’ you have?”

The bartender says, “Well first, you gotta chug a gallon of pepper tequila. Next, you have to go out back and pull the sore tooth out of our angry alligator. And finally, we have a girl up stairs who’s never slept with a man, and you gotta go make things right with her.”

Laughing, the man exclaims, “Well that sounds like the stupidest test I’ve ever heard of!” He leaves to get drunk with his friends.

Later that night, the man comes back to the bartender absolutely hammered drunk. “Ok bartender! Let’s do this test!”

The bartender hands him a gallon of pepper tequila, and before he could warn him, the man starts chugging it. Teary eyed and near the point of fainting, the man finishes the gallon and slams it on the counter. Stunned, the bartender leads him out back to the alligator. A few minutes pass, and after a bunch of screaming and clatter, the man stumbles back in. His shirt is torn up and his body is bleeding profusely. He stares at the bartender and says, “Ok bartender, where’s the girl with the sore tooth?”

 

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politician joke

 

One day a florist went to a barber for a haircut. After the cut, he asked about his bill, and the barber replied, “I cannot accept money from you, I’m doing community service this week.”

The florist was pleased and left the shop. When the barber went to open his shop the next morning, there was a “thank you” card and a dozen roses waiting for him at the door.

Later, a cop came in for a haircut, and when he tried to pay his bill, the barber again replied, “I cannot accept money from you, I’m doing community service this week.”

The cop left happy. The next morning when the barber went to open up, there was a “thank you” card and a dozen donuts waiting for him at his door.

Then a Congressman came in for a haircut, and when he went to pay his bill , the barber again replied, “I cannot accept money from you. I’m doing community service this week.”

The Congressman was very happy and left the shop. The next morning, when the barber went to open up, there were a dozen Congressmen lined up waiting for a free haircut.

 

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thankfulI’ve been truly enjoying my thankfuls this past week … and plan on continuing that right on into this next week.:)

Summer is a wonderful time of year, and one of the things I love best about it is time spent with family members who return home (to New York) on vacation. My niece Alyssa is home from Arkansas with her husband Matthew and my 5-month-old Great Niece Lily. We shared some time together last weekend – and it was nothing short of marvelous.:)

 
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weakWord Prompts! It’s one of the things I love best about the One Word Blog LinkUp. Every week, two new words are released … and I love all the directions that the new words cause my mind to go running off to.

This week’s words are Silly or Weak. I could have easily chosen either to write about – had plenty of ideas … but I’m happily going with Weak.

In my younger years, I used to be quite squeamish. I couldn’t handle the sight of blood – my own to be exact. I’d pass out if I cut myself and started bleeding – or at least I’d come darn close to doing it. I used to have to lay down. The same was true for shots and needles. I couldn’t handle them either. I was a wimp. Completely. I won’t deny it.

Thankfully, I outgrew my squeamishness. Following several surgeries in my early adult years (some of them major), I stopped being a complete wimp. I’m happy to say that I can now get a shot, have blood drawn, and accidentally cut myself (as long as it’s not too deep) without passing out or having to lay down.  :)

I also used to be overly-emotional at times. I couldn’t watch an episode of the The Waltons without tearing up. All that deep family love – always stirred me up to watch it on screen.

I’ve toughened up a bit over the years … but that doesn’t mean that my knees don’t sometimes still get weak over certain things.

 

 

Such as…..

 

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