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Christmas

 

 

‘Twas the Sunday before Christmas and all through the house…. everyone at Blogitudes thought it would be fun to post Christmas funnies today instead of a joke …. even the mouse.

So here are a few Christmas memes I’ve seen posted on social media as of late. They made me either laugh or smile. Hopefully they’ll have the same effect on you. Enjoy!

 

 

 

 

 

 

Christmas

 

My Christmas wish for you:

 

Christmas

 

And finally …

Christmas

 

and

Happy Holidays!

 


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16 SHARES

silly sunday
One night, Paddy staggers into a bar and shouts drunkenly to the bartender, “Drinks for all, and pour one for yourself, me good man.”

The bartender pours the drinks and says, “That will be $36.50 please.” Paddy shrugs, and says he has no money, so the bartender roughs him up a little and throws him out.

The next night Paddy comes in again, and orders a drink for everyone in the bar including the bartender. The bartender pours the drinks, though somewhat reluctantly, and yet again Paddy has no money.  The bartender is furious, and slaps him firmly around the head before throwing him out.

On the third night, Paddy returns, and orders drinks for all except the bartender.

“What, no drink for me?” asks the bartender.

“Oh, no,” replies Paddy. “You get violent when you drink.”

 


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17 SHARES

Christmas Kindness
Christmas has always been my favorite holiday. It’s a time of year that appeals to all of my senses. I love seeing the decorations – the pretty colored lights that twinkle in yards when you drive by at night; the brightly wrapped packages waiting under a tree. I love hearing the songs and music of the season. I am not a fan of snow, but Christmas without it just isn’t the same. I love seeing a blanket of white on the ground on Christmas morning and feeling the crunch of it beneath my feet as I carry gifts from my house to the car to go visit family. I love the smell and taste of Christmas cookies and other festive baked goods. Oh yes, I love those cookies a lot!  :)

I love everything associated with Christmas-time, but most of all I love feeling and knowing that there’s a spirit of goodwill that shines out of most of us during this time of year. People tend to be more caring and thoughtful and giving toward mankind during this time of year – more conscious of  the needs of others. At this time of year more than any other, people are more sincerely motivated to show extra kindness.

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66 SHARES

joke
Three bulls heard that the rancher was going to bring yet another bull onto the ranch, and the prospect raised a discussion among them.

First Bull: “Boys, we all know I’ve been here 5 years. Once we settled our differences, we agreed on which 100 of the cows would be mine. Now, I don’t know where this newcomer is going to get his cows, but I aint’ givin’ him any of mine.”

Second Bull: “That pretty much says it for me, too. I’ve been here 3 years and have earned my right to the 50 cows we’ve agreed are mine. I’ll fight ‘im till I run him off or kill ‘im, but I’m keeping all my cows.”

Third Bull: “I’ve only been here a year, and so far you guys have only let me have 10 cows to take care of. I may not be as big as you fellows (yet) but I am young and virile, so I simply must keep all my cows.”

They no sooner finished their big talk when an eighteen-wheeler pulls up in the middle of the pasture with only one animal in it: the biggest baddest bull these guys had ever seen! At 4700 pounds, each step he took toward the ground strained the steel ramp to the breaking point.

First Bull: “You know, it’s actually been some time since I really felt I was doing all my cows justice, anyway. I think I can spare a few for our new friend.”

Second Bull: “I’ll have plenty of cows to take care of if I just stay on the opposite end of the pasture from him. I’m certainly not looking for an argument.”

They look over at their young friend, the 3rd bull, and find him pawing the dirt, shaking his horns, and snorting.

First Bull: “Son, let me give you some advice real quick. Let him have some of your cows and live to tell about it.”

Third Bull: “Hell, he can have ALL MY COWS. I’m just making sure he knows I’m a bull!”

 


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20 SHARES
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